If this doesn't make you cum in your pants...


...you're:
a) a girl
2) not wearing pants
iii) more than a month into a course of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors 

Probably in the hope of glazing over not-too-distant failures, Sony launched service on the PlayStation Network, allowing users to pre-order their downloadable games.

The preordering service, which has long been available on Steam, allows its users to download and install the game the very moment of its release, which could very well oil the hype machine for non-physical games released through Sony's console-based electronic marketplace. 

This service has been ticking away for a few months now, but I mention it now because I recently pre-ordered Journey on PSN and discovered a flaw in the process.  Unlike Steam which allows you to download an encrypted version of the game which unlocks upon release, PSN's pre-ordering only allows you to merely download upon release, meaning you have to wait those extra hours for your multi-gigabyte game to trudge its way down to your console.  

This seems to be an oversight, when so many PS3 users also have PCs and game on them, why would they not opt for the more gratifying method of more instant gratification?  Perhaps in the future, we'll get pre-orders the Steam way, but for now, PSN remains just a little bit clunky.

So, snoopers in the code of Max Payne 3 have found what seems to be a list of vehicles that are set to appear in Rockstar's next big game: GTA V.  It's all rather cool given that it includes actual trains!

Here's the list that I pilfered from another site that I'm not going to credit since it appears everywhere.   

Cars apc bobsleigh benson biff bobcat boxville buccaneer burrito brzbus casco cadge car_brzhatchplc car_brzsedanplc car_brzhatchjnk car_brzsedanjnk carga cavalcade cognoscenti cs2000 chavos dukes dune feroci forklift futo furzen fxt gant hauler minivan infernus patriot phantom prairie police rancher rhino schafter seinove skimobile taxi vanpony willard winky trash railmu flatty snowplough Bikes enduro jz125 z75 faggio2 spike Helicopters autogiro bchopper annihilator bentham maverick hind napalm scamp heli_vcpf heli_tfe Planes cuban800 Boats squalo bassboy chika fisher fishboat_a fishboat_b fishboat_c fishboat_d, marquis reefer tropic gunboat sabs_boat small_gb2 dinghy p_mi_botfsh whaler woody woody2 sporto tinny tug contbo smug edsboat Trains cablecar chairlift subway_lo subway_hi train_carg trainf_carg trainr_carg train_int lighty

 

My love for Machinarium is well known around UFO Gamers (the review is proof enough), so I'm going to put my shrine away for a minute and -as much as this pains me - tone down the praising and turn up the 'reporting' thing I should be doing.

Fans of adventure games and owners of Android-based tablets (such as the Barnes & Noble Nook) now have one more thing to look forward to (other than being a surprisingly interesting Venn diagram) - Machinarium on Android! Amanita Design and Hothead games teamed up to announce the launch of this beautiful little adventure on Google Play, Amazon's Kindle Fire and the Nook App store.

Machinarium for Android is available right now on Google Play and the Nook App store for the low price of $3.99, while the Kindle Fire version is scheduled to be released on the Amazon Appstore later this month. In case you don't own a tablet, don't worry - your Android phone might qualify. Just check the Google Play store for more details and enjoy your own portable little Machinarium.

Fans of Lara Croft won't be too pleased about this one: the Tomb Raider reboot has been delayed to the first quarter of 2013.

Darrell Gallagher, Crystal Dynamics studio head, explained in a statement on the official Tomb Raider blog that the game is being pushed back in order to provide players with the best possible Tomb Raider experience.

"We're doing things that are completely new to Tomb Raider in this game and the additional development time will allow us to put the finishing touches into the game and polish it to a level that you deserve," said Gallagher.

"Our priority now is to make sure we fully deliver the very highest quality game. In order to do this, we have decided to move the game's release date by a few months, from Fall 2012 to the first quarter of 2013."

This might seem like slightly bad news - after all, nobody likes seeing games pushed back. But fans, don't worry, the guys and gals over at Crystal Dynamics aim to make this Tomb Raider "the best game of [their] careers". Your beloved franchise is in good hands. And, on top of that, it will be at this year's E3, that's something to look forward to!

In case you've got questions in need of answering, pay a visit to the dedicated thread on the game's official forums and let your voice be heard. We'll stay here and keep watch for any changes on the Tomb Raider front.