Welcome to our amazing new competition!
For your chance to win one of three amusingly-named eau de parfums from a dodgy, now-closed-down shop in Eastbourne, and a wind-up UFO that will never fall off of a surface, then all you need to do is identify what's on my fingers, using only the descriptions given by my mother.
You get points for being accurate and being funny in your answers, so good luck!
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Good luck!
Third one: "Oh! Slightly soapy. And that's all I'm getting, just slightly soapy. (Whispered: What the fuck is that?!)"