A long time ago, at a gaming magazine, far, far away, a bloke called Remus was sent by the 'guys upstairs' to handle the press-releases that were sent there, compose interviews for big-ass important stakeholders, and the like. First, I thought it’s a blessing, going to talk to important people, people that make games, probably some of those people would be people that made my favourite games along the years… But then, a shitstorm came down upon me, taking my childish dreams and leaving them in a gutter. Having to deal with different PR-people (or how I call them 'politicians stuck in the wrong field of work'), I realized how full-of-shit human beings can truly be. Everything they say, write, and eventually send to you, is so full of crap, every drop of water you drink from that moment on feels like a ground bone mixed with motor-oil.

So, I decided to make something of a dictionary, or more likely, a guide-book or tourist-booklet for the everyday gamer. Let’s decipher the bullshit of a PR-dude/dudette together:

• Breathtaking graphics = We bought a great mainstream engine that most devs use.
• Enhanced physics = You can break some boxes and chairs through the levels
• Destructible terrain = You can break some boxes, chairs and blow up some walls through the levels
• Non-linear experience = Steal elements from a sandbox game so you can wander through the maps like a moron.
• A COMPLETE non-linear experience = The above, plus we’ll make sure you backtrack a lot
• An epic story = LOTR, Star Wars, Starship Troopers, Aliens or Lovecraft rip-offs
• A fantastic multiplayer experience = CTF, deathmatch and free for all
• A multiplayer revolution = The above, plus rip-offs from the original Team Fortress
• Family fun! = A game a bit more complex than tic tac toe
• Unmatched realism = It’s a lie… A lieeeeeeee!!!!

A LIEEEEEEE!!!!