When I saw the Tatooine DLC for Star Wars: The Force Unleashed appear on the PlayStation Store a few days ago, I was made up.  I had fallen out of love with this game some time ago due to neglect, largely.  I'd played the Jedi Temple DLC and enjoyed it, but that was some time ago; I'm a bit of a Star Wars buff and have always enjoyed immersing myself into that universe (the origins of this very site lie on Taspir III, after all) and I bought the DLC with this kind of expression on my face:

£7.99 spent and on we go, putting the game disc in the PS3 drive.  "Downloading update version 2.00."  Ooh, I thought.  That's interesting.  When the game restarted, it told me that it was loading trophies.  Er.  Trophies?  This game never had trophies.  So, I had to delete my original save game in order to be able to play it again and acquire the trophies which had been newly put into the game.  Scanning down the list, the trophy list included triggers from both DLC packages and towards the bottom you get one for 'taking Luke to school' and 'killing x wampas in Hoth'.  So I was naturally looking forward to stomping around as Starkiller, in Echo Base, putting my lightsabre through orange boiler-suited rebel scum.  Thirty-three minutes later, I'd completed the DLC.  £7.99 for 33 minutes?  Have I missed something?  I didn't take Luke to school, there wasn't a wampa in sight and I didn't so much as leave Tatooine.

The Hoth level, hinted at in the trophies section, is a conclusion to the what-if-Starkiller-cracked-Vader's-shell-open-and-took-his-place-as-Palpatine's-apprentice alternate storyline and actually features a showdown with Pukey Lukey Skywalker (that's what they called him at school) is only available in a new re-packaging of the game, called the Ultimate Sith Edition.  This package is due out over the coming Christmas season and will, of course, be a full-price release.  So, LucasArts leave out the conclusion to the entire game and make you pay for two episodes of DLC, the latter only lasting 33 fucking minutes, and really, they're just adverts for the repackaged release?  Ultimate Sith?!  I think some letters might have been transposed.  It left me feeling conned, frankly.

In other news, it's coming to the PC and Mac, but still no multiplayer, so thanks, you lazy bunch of money-grabbing cunts.