Today, I bought two games from the PlayStation Network.  One of them was Hyperballoid HD, and the other was PixelJunk Shooter.  The name PixelJunk implies a certain level of quality.  The developers of Hyperballoid HD (Alawar Stargaze) rang no bells and so I had no expectations, however the game managed, somehow, to spectacularly fail to meet the expectations that I didn't even have.  It all started so well; the spiel promised a hark back to the days of Arkanoid in all its brick-breaking glory, with amazing physics, an immersive soundtrack and fantastic graphics.  And what can I say, it is all there: the physics, while not amazing, are fine, the soundtrack is pleasant enough (but thankfully features the ability to play your own playlists from your PS3's HDD), the graphics are lovely, if a little flat and grimy-looking.  So what is it that caused me to say "spectacularly fail to meet the expectations..."? 

In a game like this, pace is everything.  There is a fine balance between having the game slow enough so as not to be too difficult, and fast enough to retain the attention of the player.  With Hyperballoid HD, on occasion, I actually had half an eye on the screen, glancing to ensure my ball was still gaily sailing wistfully across the screen, and the other eye-and-a-half in my glass of Shiraz.  It has the pace and energy of an 83-year-old man.  With a zimmer-frame.  With only one leg.  Who died last Wednesday.  A similar game, Magic Ball, which is also available on the PSN, trumps this game in pace, charisma and accessibility with about as much competition as one might encounter in a Darth Vader impersonation competition if one were actually Darth Vader.  I would say the developer of Hyperballoid HD could learn a great deal from the developer of Magic Ball.  I would say that vehemently, if they weren't developed by the same fucking people.  Save your £3.19 and download PixelJunk Shooter instead.