Ah yes, my magic box.  Well...  As you know, UFO Towers is a very large building and my living space is on the top floor, while the router is right at the bottom.  WiFi just about reaches most parts of UFO Towers (it's quite pokey, the UFO WiFi) and I actually have two network cables that serve my PC (my laptop works fine on the wireless for the most part) while the other network cable is there to serve both my Xbox 360 and my PlayStation 3. 

That's all right, but in the end, what it means is that if the network cable's going into the PS3 (as it normally is), then I'm less inclined to play the Xbox 360 because of the niggly annoyance of having to switch the cable from one console to the other.  So, I set out with the intention of looking into a possible solution to this problem.  And I went to Racer Computers in Hastings' Robertson Street and enquired and was sold a network switch, where you stick your network cable into the first port and it translates that to the other ports, of which there are seven. 

I got home, feverishly broke the magic box from its packaging and plugged the network cable in to the first port.  A light appeared.  I was pleased.  I put another network cable into the second port and connected it to the PS3 and switched the console on.

"An ethernet cable is not connected."
It fucking is.

"An ethernet cable is not connected."
But look, there, it's coming out of your port, can't you see?

"An ethernet cable is not connected."
What do you mean, I'm looking at it, of course it's connected.

"Signed in."
Yay!

"An ethernet cable is not connected."
What?

"Signed in."
Yay!

"An ethernet cable is not connected."
This is getting silly now.

"Signed in."
Wait, I can see friends online and everything, I really am signed in!  I took that opportunity to check around the PSN Store and look at places that couldn't possibly be cached and yeah, I really was connected.

"An ethernet cable is not connected."
WTF?!

I had a look on my laptop at the DHCP table and IP addresses of the devices attached to my router and it could see the switch.  It seemed fine.  The magic box's lights were flashing away and I kept being kicked off.  I left it and went out for a while, then came back and tested it again.  It was fine.  I plugged the Xbox 360 into the switch and that too was fine.

It works!  I've not been told that an ethernet cable is not connected since!  Hurrah for the magic box!

I love a story with a happy ending, don't you?