My first thought was "Gerstmann!". I remembered the scandal that (allegedly) got Jeff Gerstmann fired. So, like any other respectable game journalist, I wanted to write an essay about the "moronic pain to be Eidos". Starting from "Let Lara Croft die", continuing to Kane & Lynch, and finally ending with the Age Of Conan scandal, and the pressure put by Eidos on Funcom to release Age Of Conan as soon as possible. By the way, although the masses didn't know this (only in "rumour form", people in the industry found out the Eidos was near bankruptcy a month before the AoC release, and desperately needed a few hundred thousand copies of the MMO sold. The game got good sales, Eidos didn't die, but Funcom had to suffer because they had to release an unfinished game on the market. But everybody knows that karma's a bitch. And not just any bitch, but a bitch that will leave you with your pockets empty and with your balls glued to your legs. So, in a few months time, Eidos went back to the financial shit hole, and was standing with a foot in an open grave. To avoid being dead and buried (with me dancing a nice hot R&B song on top of it, flirtatiously rubbing my ass to its cross), they had to call upon drastic measures, and invoke spirits of the afterlife. It wasn't the afterlife that answered, but Square Enix, that bought them out a while back. Eidos and Square Enix. Great! As a game-critic, I felt I was left stranded in an empty intersection at the corner of "Sequels'R'Us" and "JRPG Sequels'R'Us". But I dye grass. Sorry, I digress.

I wanted a fresh retrospective review of Kane & Lynch: Dead Men, because I didn't make it past the second level in my first attempt, right after the game's launch. Oh well, I'll be back pretty soon with a K&L quick review. Just to get the juices flowing.